


Of Beasts and Suicide

by Ozymanreis



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [60]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, April Fools' Day, Canon Divergence - The Reichenbach Fall, Crack, Episode: s02e03 The Reichenbach Fall, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Loch Ness Monster, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:19:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3661911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ozymanreis/pseuds/Ozymanreis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Of course, Sherly-darling…" Jim purrs, circling playfully behind him, ”But you'll have to give me something first."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Beasts and Suicide

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #24: O Rly?

The sun is harsh, nearly blinding Sherlock, even as he keeps his eyes down. Staring at the pavement, at the implement of his demise. If the outlook weren’t so bleak, he might’ve given a chuckle for all the times he thought he’d die, and in much more _exotic_ fashions…

But then again, death at the hands of Jim Moriarty was special in its own way. The world may never know, may never clear his name. Yet, in this moment, Sherlock did. 

 _You’ve gotta admit, that’s sexier._ That quote. His only bit of solace in the world, and it was something so flippant, so sarcastic… sincere somehow, in all wrong ways. He tries to imagine it. The peace of death, even if there was nothing on the side waiting. Just… _nothing._ The opposite of _staying_ , which seemed to be Moriarty’s final lesson. 

"May I just have one moment —“ He swallows back a lump in his throat, shifting his feet, almost ready, ”One moment of privacy?" Perhaps to shed a tear, or call John to make sure he’d never mourn; Sherlock Holmes wasn’t the kind of person to be wept for (except by himself). 

"Of course, Sherly-darling…" Jim purrs, circling playfully behind him, ”But you'll have to give me something first."

"Anything." He wheezes.

Jim walks up behind him to speak into his ear, licking the shelled edge lightly before purring, "I'm gonna need about tree fiddy." 

Well, it was about time Sherlock got suspicious! As he turned around, the detective finally noticed that "Jim Moriarty" was actually about eight stories tall, and a crestacean from the paleolithic era! "Dammit, monster!" The detective yells; he'd almost been tricked into suicide by this foul beast! "I'm not giving you my money!" 

Quickly, he texts for Mycroft’s secret cameras to photograph the wretched creature, thus ensuring proof of his existence, “Now!” He spits, stomping his foot down, “Either you scamper along, and _undo_ all the madness and hell you’ve brought unto my life, or _yes_ : I will kill myself as you wanted, but you won’t be safe _anywhere_.” The last word is a hissed promise.

The monster scowls, but is trapped, unable to leave millions of years of secrecy to chance of being utterly _destroyed_ , “Alright, detective… you win this time.” His words drag as he storms off the roof, back to his evil lair beneath the Atlantic. 

Thoroughly annoyed, Sherlock straightens out his coat, following ten minutes after, all his plans down the drain.

**Author's Note:**

> In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny: Ain't I a stinker? 
> 
> Happy April Fool's Day, lovelies (I'll tag this properly as crack and a joke tomorrow ;x)


End file.
